My Valentine’s Day was uneventful. These holidays are sent by the devil to put a strain on relationships, I’m sure of it. A great gift from a suitor, and you think you’ve found gold, when he could be a jerk the very next day. Get ignored by someone who you think is awesome, and then you start second guessing the relationship and "where you stand." Valentine’s Day has an odd effect on matters of the heart.
I’m kind of in a zone. The guy I’m seeing and I could not be together. He’s working out of town. I had an opportunity to be with him while he’s working, but he made it clear he would be working. I backed out of the trip because it didn’t seem like there would be room for me while he works. On V-Day I "girled up" and needed more attention than usual. However, that wasn’t possible because he was working. Any other month, I could have handled it like a champ. But this month is rather extreme for me. My behavior is matching. V-Day didn’t help.
It took everything for me not to say eff it, round up my girls and go for a few rounds at the bar.
But of course, I can’t spend loot.
Staying in the house more than usual during this no-buy month has made me feel at peace sometimes but cranky, too. During the times I would normally be out and about, I am at home, crunching numbers and contemplating. Doing such things wreak havoc on your social skills. I need a better outlet. I’m just going to try to keep myself busy the rest of the weekend. I have a morning jog on Saturday and I have a concert on Sunday night. All these things are free and planned. I miss my life of surprises.
No-buy month is a good thing, I suppose. It can also make you WAY too aware of your relationships with friends, lovers, coworkers. I miss my spend-money malaise.