I have different sets of friends. One set travels to hip cities for events such as jazz concerts, taste festivals and all-star games. I love them, but I can’t keep up. They alway ask me to go with them and mention how we’d all be sharing the hotel room costs. I always tell them no because the trips are pricey. I hate feeling like the odd woman out, but I am responsible for my fiscal health. If I can’t swing it, I can’t swing it.
When I started cutting back expenses, I tried to get all my friends on the frugality band wagon. I wish I could say I asked them to join because I wanted them to prosper financially, but really that wasn’t the case. I just knew that if I had a no-spend circle around me, I wouldn’t be tempted to burn cash.
I really enjoyed reading this New York Times article about how people saved money to purchase a home in the big city. It seems like a lot of the people in the article surrounded themselves with like-minded frugal people.
Do you find yourself wishing your friends didn’t pressure you to spend? Are most of your friends living the frugal lifestyle? Can spenders and savers co-exist?
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I dont have friends that pressue me into buying things. People who know me pretty much know that my yes is a yes and my No is a NO. I do have a few frugal pals but I think that the frugal and non frugal people can co exist. You just have to know your limits, and like you said if you can’t swing it, you can’t swing it. No one else will be paying your bills so you need to look out for your financial welfare.
Product Junkie Diva
First, I am only responding because I am being forced to against my will…
LOL, I kid! I think frugals and big spenders can co-exist. It all comes down to personal choice.
I have found myself becoming more frugal lately, because it is necessary!
Yep! I have some friends with very different financial situations. Sometimes I feel pressured, but rarely give in. Compromise. I may concede to an occasional expensive dinner, but I can recover from that more quickly than a trip to Jamaica.
It’s especially difficult with out-of-town friends living in a cheaper market and/or co-habitating when I live in NYC alone. But guess what? NYC, like Miami, is a destination. They can visit.
Well my friends around me are all broke graduate students…..so definetly no problems there. In fact, even though I’m being frugal I think I sometimes pressure them to spend more than they normally would! Shoot, I really don’t think I have any friends who spent like I used to!!!! I was the odd ball! Now I just need to work on my dear hubby, because sometimes he can be a spender!
It’s really easy to be spending more when you’re friends with a shopper. Amanda and I – who just started blogging about this exact topic – are in pretty similar financial situations. We don’t have credit card debt, yet always hanging out with a shopping friend has made me shop more than I would normally.
(I guess that’s cause normally I would just sit at home all day and keep myself entertained by Top Chef marathons on TV…)
PJD-Thanks for cosigning!
Mashaun-You’re a man of action!
Coco-I do the expensive dinner compromise quite a bit.
Twiggers-Use your power for good, not for spending! heheh
Bridget-Blogging just got interesting! Yay.
It depends on the mentality and the events. I have co-workers who always ask me to go shopping with them to high-end department stores. Their invitations come with a caveat, though: they want me to spend money with them. If I tell them I’ll go but I don’t want to buy anything, they tell me not to come. I continually remind them that I am completely debt free and am saving for graduate school but to this they roll their eyes. I don’t need to carry their burden of credit card debt for a $200 shirt. That $200 will be my groceries this Fall when I’m a poor grad student.
Another friend recently cut back her out of control spending (or therapy as we call it.) We now can spend hours at a thrift store and only spend $5-10 instead of $100+ at TJ Maxx. Most shopping is like eating, you do it to fill an emotional void or because you’re bored. If you are aware of this and modify your behavior, you can still enjoy it (at the thrift store or with healthy food) and not suffer the detrimental consequences.
I’m actually the opposite – sort of: my hubby and I eat out waaaay too much. Even after cutting back we’re still going out at least once a week. Our friends rarely go out for food, maybe once a month. We’re the bad ones (hangs head in shame). Your blog is a big inspiration to live frugally and get our food spending under control.