Happy Monday! We have part two of the Men, Women and Money series. Our favorite website owner, Tasha of DontDateHimGirl.com, is back with some tips on how to deal with your money and relationships in this weak economy. Indeed, it’s one thing to frugalize alone, but when you’re in a relationship, you have to consider your partner. This is not Tasha’s first appearance on The Frugalista Files. Let’s just say that her last visit was spirited! Here’s to Love and Happiness!
How to Recession Proof Your Love Life
1. Show each other the money "In
romantic relationships, communication is key," said Tasha Cunningham, a
leading dating expert and creator of DontDateHimGirl.com. "Talk about
your current financial situation with your significant other. Painting
a realistic picture and giving your significant other a clear picture
of where you are financially will set the stage for you both to work
together to recession-proof your relationship."
2. Share the pain Talk
to your significant other about any concerns, fears or thoughts you
might have about your finances. Having an open and honest discussion
about how the recession is affecting your lives is a way to bring you
both closer in a time of adversity.
3. Give up the goods "Cut
back on dinners out and cook together at home instead. Figure out where
in your budget you both can cut. If you cut your spending together,
it’s a lot less painful and actually can bring you both closer
together," Cunningham said.
4. Go date-free and still have fun "Plan
dates with your sweetheart that don’t cost a thing. There are tons of
fabulous things you can do together for free," said Sonia Torretto, a
DontDateHimGirl.com contributor and author of the book Men Should Come With Warning Labels.
Torretto suggests taking a bath with lots of bubbles together and then
give each other foot massages or packing a little picnic or snack and
watching the sunrise together after work.
5. Don’t fight over money A recession can put a choke hold on anyone’s finances. The worst
thing you can do is fight with each other over money. Instead,
brainstorm with each and come up with a plan to save money.
6. Don’t hide money from your partner "Hiding
assets or debt from your partner or keeping a secret bank account is
financial infidelity," Cunningham said. "And it comes with dire
consequences to a relationship. Be honest with your partner about both
the money and the debt you have."
7. Book a lavish vacation Make a goal together that you plan to achieve once the hard times are
over. For instance, when the recession is a thing of the past, make a
commitment to jet off to Jamaica for a weekend. "When you do this," Cunningham said, "You’ll both have something to look forward to and work toward."
8. Challenge each other to save
Make saving fun by challenging each other to come up with new ways to
keep money in your pockets instead of spending it. The winner gets a
prize from the losing partner.
9. Do things for a dollar "Check out a dollar movie theater," said Torretto, "Or hit a dollar store together for fun."
10. Retrain your brains
Cutting back on the things you both love isn’t easy. But both
Cunningham and Torretto agree, if you make a pact and stick to it, it’s
going to make your relationship grow!
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Seriously, money and relationship advice from somebody who runs a web site that lets people post boldfaced lies about ex-lovers? I’ll pass.
I have to completely disagree with #7 – if you are struggling with money, going on a fancy and expensive vacation is the last thing that you should be planning for. A weekend in a B&B is far more in line.
Also, I think that the suggestions go back and forth for committed partners and significant others. If I’m not married to him, he’s not seeing my bank account! Nor would I want to see his.
I think that the overall take-away should be that a relationship is built on more than just spent money. A relationship should be about mutual respect, and a willingness to put time and thought into things. I would NOT want a man to spend $200 dollars every friday night, taking me out, nor would I want a man that expected that from me.
$-Aw.
GLM-Even if the man were rich? You wouldn’t want weekly pamper dates?
I have to give a shout out to having joint accounts. It’s helped us so much to be on the right track — everything is “our” money. We’re committed to save, spend less and such when we know that what we make gets a bonus from the other person.
Yeah, and I don’t think booking a lavish vacay when you can’t afford it is smart.
I’ll admit, I’ve never had a rich beau. But I’d like to think that he’d know that the point would be to spend time with him, and not the price tag. And since I can’t reciprocate with expensive things, I’d rather keep things low key. The jewelry can come after the wedding.
I haven’t been on in awhile, but a friend of mine sent me this great post and I just had to come back to check it out. I think you should make booking a lavish vacation a goal and save for it.
I clearly don’t think Tasha was saying go out and find a rich guy. It’s about saving money and not letting relationship problems bring down your relationship.
.$ out of .15, you must be posted on the site. But for you to think that everything posted on DontDateHimGirl.com is a lie is childish. You think ever guy posted their is innocent? Not!
I posted an abusive ex-boyfriend on the site and actually saved two women the heartache of getting into a relationship with the guy. So take it from me, the site is a service to women.
Thanks for the tips Natalie! Unfortunately, I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, but when I do and it gets serious, we will be using these tips to save money together and stop going out so much!
I think a vacation is fine as long as it’s a loooooooong way down the road after tough times. Tough times usually require that you make financial compromises. All debts should be repaid and savings replenished before you even think of taking a vacation.
I’ve weathered a financial storm before. It’s tempting to spend once it has passed, but better to make a committment to be more prepared next time.
I’m gonna go with $. I don’t think everything on that site is a lie, but I do think as an adult, “Don’t you have anything better to do than boldly display this chip on your should?” I know I do.
So where in Miami is there a dollar theater?
What about renting a DVD? Or getting together with friends to play some board games? Or joining a bowling league as a couple?
I don’t think that either party wants their sweetheart to look at them and see dollar signs. And I don’t think that people on this blog want that, either. But we’re so used to doing things that cost a lot of money.
We let money be such a big part of our lives. I agree with Miss Frugalista’s theme – let’s take control over our money, not the other way around!
Or, since I haven’t said it in a while – don’t let “the Man” tell you how to have a relationship – do what works for you and your sweetie!
These tips are cute, but if we are not married his money is his money and mine is mine..LOL.Once again i have to get my popcorn out to read these comments..lol
If you want to make your love one happy money is not all you need. Girls do not always need expensive dinner date or expensive gifts. They often appreciate things from guys that are done with so much effort. Anyway, if you really love someone through thick in thin you’ll stay with him/her. If ever you have encounter financial problem don’t fight about it because there is a payday loan that could help you in times you badly need money.
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Totally agree, don’t let your relationship slip away! Love is Everything.