The New York Times ran this article recently on how it’s beneficial to find your financial soulmate. It’s the key to wedded bliss. One of the experts in the article says that you and your spouse should sit down once a week and talk about money.
From the article:
Today, while most of us marry for romantic reasons, marriage at its core is
still a financial union. So much of what we want — or don’t want — out of life
boils down to dollars and cents, whether it’s how hard we choose to work, how
much we consume or how much we save. For some people, it’s working 80-hour weeks
to finance a third home and country club membership; for others, it means
cutting back on office hours to spend more time with the family.
I found this article very interesting. Money has a way of shaping everything in our lives. I cut my travel drastically this year because I’m doing the frugalista thing. My bank account is thanking me for it! If I were in relationship with someone who valued traveling, I’m sure he and I would be butting heads right now. How many people remember their parents having beef over money? I’m sure quite a few do, especially if their parents are divorced.
Is marriage a financial institution? Should money trump love? Can you have romance without stable finance? Do you and your spouse discuss financial goals often? If you are single, like me, how much do you want to know about a mate’s finances before you take him/her seriously?
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t think marriage is a financial institution but finances are an important aspect. As I said over at Dollar’s spot, love is grand but it doesn’t pay the bills.
Unless someone you’re dating is taking great pains to hide their financial situation, I think you can get a good idea of their financial situation/philosophy over time. I wouldn’t consider seriously dating anyone with jacked up finances.
As far as married finances, a while back Mr. Savvy and I sat down and made a list of all our short- and long-term goals. I manage the money but make sure to give him status periodically. A general here’s where we are, what we’ve already accomplished and what do want to tackle next on the list.
I personally think that a lot of things need to click before a couple starts down the eventual marriage path. Finances, desire/lack thereof for kids, religion/faith, priorities and general outlook on life are all very important components.
I think you need love to make a marriage work, but love is more than just a squishy feeling – it’s a commitment to your partner and with that should be honesty and openness.
I wouldn’t mind marrying someone who made less money than me, but if he wasn’t ok with one of us staying at home with the kids when we had them, or if he wanted to spend beyond our means, that’s not a stable platform to build a marriage on with me.
Marrying someone with messy finances would be difficult for me. Especially since I made so many sacrifices to get my financial house in order.
I like to know about potential’s finacial situation. I plan to marry for love, but if his money isn’t right, he needs to hand the reigns over to me.
I am not married but I need to know that this man will not bring me to my financial knees. I know it may sound horrible but I have worked pretty hard in my short years on this earth and I am trying to look out for my financial future so I am not looking to get mixed up with a man who has a ton of debt. That is not to say that money rules everything but I also don’t want to struggle if it is not necessary. Love is grand but that won’t pay the bills and on another note cash won’t comfort you when you need to talk or keep you warm so it’s a tough situation to be in but I would like to be on the same financial page as the guy or at least pretty close.
I like this post.
My wife gets mad when I tip cocktail waitresses with food stamps.
I was fortunate to married someone with $400 in debt on a credit card. I knocked mine out within 3 years.
However, had he had 5 figures in debt and sloppy with paying it off, I would have deferred the wedding, ha!
Money is a factor I hate to say. It’s not fair to the other person, that is saving and paying off debt while the other is lazy